Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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