Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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