and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize