dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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