Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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