Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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