the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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