end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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