apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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