i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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