That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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