Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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