so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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