I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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