If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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