I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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