just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize