Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize