I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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