if you like me you must not know who I am
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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