I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize