you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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