Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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