it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
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Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
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I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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