Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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