i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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