Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize