just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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