I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i was born a porn star she said
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize