Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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