Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I touched a dick in church today
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize