I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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