If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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