He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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