i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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