I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize