Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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