I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
be right there i have to get my cape
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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