I got chris browned last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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