I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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