This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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