i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize