I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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