I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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