new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
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It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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