Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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