You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize