I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I supernannyed him into submission
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize