Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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