she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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